“Rohith, if you don’t get 100 out of 100 in all the subjects in next exam, you are not my son. Mind it!! You don’t know the competition in the world. If you don’t score out of out, then you won’t get seat in good institution for higher studies. I may not be able to get you payment seat and all. So you have to work hard” Mr. Prasad warned his 8 years old son. Rohith didn’t understand what does his father’s statement mean exactly. You are not my son means what? Is it my score decides the relationship between me and father?! Working hard means what?! Young mind was really upset.
Rohith was a brilliant boy. He was good at studies. He was jovial all the times, he had many good friends with him. He was a very good painter. Even in the subjects like, science, mathematics, social studies etc. he was performing well. He was regarded as an all rounder in his school. All teachers were happy with him. BUT NOT THE FATHER!!!!! Because Rohith was not first in the class. He got second place only with a difference of very few marks which made Mr. Prasad discontent. Rohith couldn’t digest his father’s attitude. Mr. Prasad never considered the fact that his son was more active than the girl, Anusha who was getting first place in Rohith’s class. Anusha was a bookworm which took her a few more marks than Rohith. Thats it.
We see many people like Mr. Prasad in today’s world. They don’t have a holistic approach. They don’t want their child to be a participant in many fields. Their goal is marks and only marks!! This leads to rote learning in children. The way how Mr. Prasad warned Rohith was never a motivation but only a threat. It is a very bad way of reinforcing the child for study. Most of the parents use this kind of fear appeals to make their child alert, which ruins its life in the latter part.
In psychology, positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement are the main two kinds of reinforcement methods. Each individual works more when he is reinforced, irrespective of positive or negative. Appreciation is an excellent example for positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement encourages the individual to work more efficiently. The individual being appreciated gets more enthusiasm to work and that motivates him to work. On the contrary, negative reinforcement drags the individual to work hard for the satisfaction of others. Fear appeal is a sarcastic example for negative reinforcement. Due to the fear of being punished, the person will work. The fear of punishment may motivate a person to work to some extent. When the factor that makes the person to work is removed from the scenario, the person stops working. Because his work is never self motivated.
A child must be made to study by a positive reinforcement. But normally this doesn’t happen. Common comments from parents we come across are as follows; “My child is not good at study”. “He never sits to study. How can I appreciate him?” “I have to scold him to make him to study. In an effort to avoid my scolding he takes the books for study.” But let me ask the parents to ponder their past. How much were they all studying when they were young? Didn’t they enjoy playing with their siblings or friends soon after the school? Weren’t they doing some mischievous things? Whether they liked to be a bookworm right from 1st standard? If they do such introspection then they will not blame “today’s children are purposeless. They are not serious about their future” etc. They would realise they were also not serious when they were so young. They became serious only once they were grown up and got responsibilities on their shoulders.
Do the children of present days grow in a naturally and homely atmosphere? Now a days, the young parents send their child to play home when the child is just 2 or 3 years and make it grow in an artificial environment. Why today’s children are not allowed to grow naturally? Why parents are in a hurry to make the child extraordinary? Let it take its own time. Slow pace of growth of the child should not be a matter of worry. We should understand the fact that each child has its own capacity and system of growth. So let us have patience. Therefore it is necessary to give positive reinforcement at each step of the evolution of the child. That is the real reinforcement to the child to grow to greater heights.
So, all parents please do remember, POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT IS WHAT THEY NEED.
This is very true akshara anna....and a lot of parents thnik it is natural when it is actually not...
ReplyDeleteThank you for your feedback..... :)
ReplyDeleteGood post on current education system and the mis conceived expectations set on kids by over zealous parents.
ReplyDeleteWish they set a good environment at home where Kids eanjoy learning and not despise it.
Check out Ken Robinson's talk in TED http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html